Eating Peppermint Bark

Maddie pressed the button to open the garage door, drove in, and parked her car. Immediately, she went into the utility room to get Kelly, her soft-coated wheaten terrier, to take him for a potty walk. When they returned home, the plumber was already waiting at the front door. They walked into the house, he to the kitchen, Maddie and Kelly to his feeding station. Then the doorbell rang. It was her next-door neighbor, Rachel, standing in the doorway. Her normally gentle, smiling eyes were now filled with tears. Tears that began to roll down flushed red cheeks. Through clenched teeth, she hissed, “Let me tell you what those S.O.Bs did to me now!”

They lived in phase three of a new housing development for 50+ active adults community. The builders were still constructing new homes. All the new home-owners, up and down every block, hated the builders with livid passion. The model homes were beautifully designed, but the homes they got were poorly constructed, leaving the new home-owners with endless issues. For example, the developers didn't wrap the home exteriors which made them particularly drafty and expensive to heat. One owner, right after moving in, hired a contractor to remove the siding from two sides of his home, add wrapping, then reinstall the siding.

Maddie had never heard Rachel swear and was a bit startled that her new neighbor even knew how to swear. Around Rachel, Maddie, who had a rather wealthy vocabulary of swear words, always spoke guardedly when she was angry about one new or ongoing issue with the builder. She didn't want to offend Rachel. So when the plumber peeked around from the kitchen to see what was wrong, Maddie wrapped her arm around Rachel's shoulders and guided her to the library, with Kelly trailing their heels.

They sat on the sofa where Rachel continued, nearly screaming, "Those dam slimy bastards installed the wrong fireplace! We got an electric bill for last month for over $900.00!, over $900.00! Jim traced it to running that f'ing fireplace every evening! We thought it was romantic. He got an electrician to look at it only to learn that the unit is new, but it's an old model, not an energy-efficient one, and it can't run without the heater being on. An old model!" She went on and on and on, while injecting more S.O.Bs, then assholes, dumb assholes, and a lot of m-fuckers.

Normally, Maddie saw a generous-hearted Rachel, calm, polite, soft-spoken, careful in her manner and appearance, never overdressed, but casually stylish. Every strand of hair knew its place and stayed there, but was now poised to revolt. Perhaps, Maddie liked her for selfish reasons. Every day, after Maddie went to work, Rachel walked Kelly, who expressed his dislike for being left alone by raising his leg and urinating on the hot water tank in the utility room, a room Maddie had especially decorated just for his comfort. Her neighbor was determined to change that nasty behavior by taking him for long potty walks morning and noon, she would even spend a little time petting and talking to him. "He won't have a drop of pee left in him when I'm done," Rachel would say. Like Maddie, Rachel failed, but at least she tried.

Her voice became exhausted and dull, there was a pause. Maddie saw her chance to say, "I have just the right thing for you." She took Rachel to the kitchen, introduced her to the plumber, then gave their shadow, Kelly, an extra-large milk bone. She opened the pantry door, took out a red and white tin, and pulled out a sheet of peppermint bark. Just breaking it apart made them salivate. On top of the thin first layer of dark chocolate was another thin layer of white chocolate, on top of that were scattered small broken pieces of red and white peppermint candy. The barks strong chocolate minty aroma filled their nostrils. They stood around a butcher block island crunching on peppermint bark. Their eyes would meet, they smiled and smiled and smiled, giving out occasional soft sighs of "Mmmms," and spoke in near whispers that turned into loud laughter. Not one swear word was spoken. And that's what peppermint bark can do to you.